Ask Philippines
by Miss Edelstein
Summary: Now is the time to ask the personification of the Philippines, Dalisay Flores Matapang, any questions you have for her, whether they are totally inappropriate, stupid, gross, personal or just downright creepy! She's prepared for anything you have for her! After all, she is friends with some of the craziest people on this planet! Pre- SwitzPhili, and other pairings are mentioned!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first time doing this, so I hope it's not too bad! Anyway, if you've read my other stories, you're probably familiar with Dalisay/Philippines, and even though I said her full name is Dalisay Antonia Flores, well, it's now Dalisay (Antonia) Flores Matapang. I wanted to give her a Tagalog last name because she was born before Spanish colonization and was born a Tagalog. Also, this is probably going to be the longest chapter. I'll try to answer all questions from reviews for the same chapter in one chapter, but if somebody reviews a chapter after I already answered all the questions, I'll just answer the question in the next chapter! Did that even make sense? I'm not sure.**

Kumusta!

I am Dalisay Flores M., more commonly known as the Philippines! And if you're wondering what the "M." is, it's Matapang! That's my last name, but for some reason, people only call me "Dalisay Flores." I mean, I know my handwriting's bad, but I didn't think it was _that _bad. They probably only think it's a scribble. Wait a second, let me ask Alfred.

Even he thought it was a scribble. I mean, c'mon! Give me some credit! It's not like I was exactly in a proper school when I grew up! I had more important things to do with my life, like help my father with our little farm.

You're probably wondering who my father is. Well, before I get to that, most nations are just born. Sometimes, nations only have just mothers, or fathers, or grandfathers. And then there's me. I am one of the only "human-born" nations on Earth (not sure if there are any on different planets, but Al likes to think so!). Anyway, I was born to human parents (though my mother died during labor, but I don't really like talking about that, unless you have a question, and I'll definitely answer!), and I lived as a regular human. I was born in 1380, in the Kingdom of Tondo, and by 1400, I still only looked twelve years old. I won't go any further, as this was a hard time for me, but please ask questions if you have any! I'll answer any questions you have!

How about we talk about my life right now? Okay, so one basic fact about me is that Alfred is my life. I don't love him romantically (sheesh people, don't you know how jealous Iggybrows would get?!), but he's my hero. Wow, it totally sounds like I love him that way. I DON'T! He's like a little brother to me, though he looks older (I only look eighteen, and he looks nineteen, though he was born in 1600). He helped me get my freedom from Spain (who I'm still not on good terms with, though my country's relations with the country of Spain are getting better), and for that, I'm forever grateful, although I was basically Alfred's colony for about less than fifty years. I usually ignore the Philippine-American war, and so does he. The only reason I don't hate him the way I hate Spain (not the country, just the personification!) is because he always told me that no matter what his country said, he would let me go. I'll go into more detail if you have any questions!

Anyway, besides Alfred, my best friends include Prussia/Gilbert, Hungary/Elizabeta, Denmark/Mathias, Canada/Matthew, Seychelles/Victoria, France/Francis, Belgium/Charlotte, Liechtenstein/Eva, and Ukraine/Irunya. I probably forgot a few people, but I'll remember them later! Oh, Veneziano/Feliciano! There's one I remembered! And even though I haven't spoken to him a lot since I got my independence from Spain, I still consider Romano/Lovino like a little brother. I really hope that Lovi and Spain get together soon! Oh, I know there'll be questions about my love life. If you ask, I'll tell!

I think I should talk about my personality. Hold on, let me ask Alfred what he thinks I'm like, since I'd only call myself nice. Okay, he thinks I'm hilarious, funny (I wonder if he knows that those two words are the same thing), loud (like him, which is a good thing), happy and I'm the heroine (hahaha, at least it's not heroin) to his hero. I'm touched. Like seriously, I'm tearing up. I just told Alfred that I love him. He knows I mean it in a sisterly way. Seriously, if you ask either one of us if we love each romantically, we'd go into a list of what we'd rather do, and let me tell you, it's both gross and funny. Anyone want to ask a question about that certain topic? ;D However, everybody (all my best friends, and me) says that I hang on to the past too much for my own good. I mean, yeah, that's why I still have issues with Spain (the personification!), but it's hard for me to forget! Whatever. I won't talk about it now. But... questions?

Okay, I have to go now! Alfred and I are going flying (he's piloting, though, because we'd die if I was the pilot!), and Liz is coming because she makes it a habit to record everything we do (for memories, Elizabeta insists). Then again, it's not like I'm one to talk. Liz and I stalk all our favorite yaoi couples (or couples-to-be) in our spare time.

If you have any questions, ask! Even the stupidest or grossest ones! Or the most personal. I'm totally open to all questions, and I'll answer honestly!

Oh, and because I know you'll be reading this, Gilbert, because you're a stalker like Liz and I, go suck some balls! Perhaps Roderich's, hahahahahahahaha…

-Dalisay (Philippines)

P.S. The thing that irks me the most is when people assume that I'm Spanish. I'm not. The Philippines has a history before Spanish colonization, and therefore I do too. I was born in 1380, which was well over a hundred years before the Spaniards arrived (though first it was Magellan, and I was there with Lapu-Lapu when he was killed. Questions?). Anyway, so yeah. The Philippines has a history before Spain! Never forget that! I am a proud Tagalog, hence my first name and my actual last name (Dalisay means pure, and Matapang means brave). The only reason I keep Flores in my name is because while I am a strict enforcer of Philippine history, three hundred years of Spanish colonization isn't to be taken lightly. My hate/disliking of Spain (the personification, not the country!) comes from that colonization. But like I said before, if you have any questions about a certain time period or aspect of my life, feel free to ask me! Oh, and also, if anybody got that I liked (not romantically!) Iggybrows from above, you're totally wrong! I don't hate him, but I have a few issues with him, mostly concerning Alfred, but also one of my own. Anyway... Paalam!

**So, what'd you think? Oh, and if I totally mess up Philippine history in this story, I'm so sorry! I'm only half Filipino, and I live in the United States, so I'm not exactly a Philippine history whiz! Also, the only way this story (can this even be called a story?) can continue is if there are questions, which mean reviews, so if you want to see more chapters, please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Salamat for the questions, ARandomPerson15! I was so happy when I read them that I screamed and Alfred thought there was a burglar, so he took a frying pan and a gun to the front door and told me to hide. He forgets that we're in my house, so if anything, he should be the one to hide. Anyway…

_Hello!  
__Alright,so I have a few questions for you. 's your favorite food? is your favorite thing to do? you like bugs? you like to be a world power?  
__Thank you for your time._

_Sincerely,ARandomPerson15_

Awwwww! Salamat for taking the time to ask questions! Anyway… first question!

'_s your favorite food?_

That's a good question. Kinda hard, because I like a lot of different foods, but I guess the one I'd have to go with now is halo-halo. Oo, it's a desert, but it's still food! I guess for a main dish, I'd go with calamari, or shark, or lechón. Or shrimp! In general, seafood or meat. I'm a carnivore! The only time I ever really eat fruit (besides mangos) is when I eat halo-halo!

_is your favorite thing to do?_

Another good but hard question! There's a lot of things I like doing, but I guess if I had to pick one, it'd be making music videos with Alfred, Gilbert and Mathias, with Elizabeta as our cameraman, though sometimes if Victoria's there, Vic and Liz will be with me and Matthew will be the cameraman! Actually, just a few nights ago, the Awesome Trio (Al, Gil and Mathias) and I were all hanging out together in Copenhagen, when Vic and Mattie came, so we decided to dance and sing to a song to make a really weird and awesome music video. The song of that night was "Where Them Girls At" by David Guetta featuring Flo Rida and Nicki Minaj. It was amazing. Alfred sang along to Flo Rida's part in the song, and I sang along to Nicki Minaj's part of the song. One of the best nights ever. Except for the fact that we (me, Alfred, Gil, Mathias, Victoria, Liz and Matthew) were all hungover during the World Meeting the next day. But it was still fun before that time! So yeah, singing and dancing to make a music video is probably my favorite thing to do!

_you like bugs?_

Well, I eat crickets. I think that counts. Camaro (isn't that the name of a car too?) is a dish where field crickets are cooked in soy sauce, salt and vinegar. It's more popular in Pampanga, but you know, I'm from everywhere in the Philippines, because I am the Philippines!

_you like to be a world power?_

Well, I'm no United States of America when it comes to power, but yeah, I enjoy it! After three hundred years of Spanish colonization (and Alfred thought Iggybrows was going overboard!), it's nice knowing that I'm an independent country, and even though the world economy isn't doing too hot right now, we all have a lot going for us! Alfred and I like to keep a positive look on things, unlike Mr. Un-Brightside over in rainy London (yes, Alfred and I love the Killers- great band, if you haven't already, you should listen to some songs!). So yeah!

Thanks for the questions, and keep asking away, people! For now, paalam!


	3. Chapter 3

Yay! More questions! Salamat, ARandomPerson15! Let's get to it!

_Hello again!  
__Sorry for my terrible spelling in my last letter. I was really tired and didn't double check it. Anyway,those music videos sound fun! I can just imagine it. I have new questions for you. you ever been in a food fight before? you believe in Atlantis? you believe in Merpeople? you like video games? Russia ever seriously creeped you out?  
__Thank you for answering my other questions.  
__Sincerely,ARandomPerson15_

That's all right! I'm not an English teacher! I'm no Iggybrows! And yeah, those music videos are fun! And funny!

_you ever been in a food fight before?_

Yes, I have. Using hamburgers and pancakes. Mattie (Matthew, not Mathias!) and I were over at Alfred's house for breakfast, and Mattie wanted to make pancakes, while Alfred wanted to grill hamburgers (yeah, for breakfast. Seriously.), and they got into a bit of a disagreement. I suggested that the bun of the hamburger could be a pancake, but Alfred was all like, "Nooooo! That ruins the natural beauty of hamburgers!" Then Mattie was like, "Oh please! The natural beauty of food has been ruined by hamburgers!"

That obviously didn't sit well with Alfred.

So, after a few seconds of intense silence, they started throwing food at each other. Alfred yelled at me from the kitchen to fight on his side, but Mattie also wanted me on his side, so I decided that it would be a three-way food fight. Alfred won, of course, because he's the hero. After that, Mattie spent three hours trying to dent his ego, but to no avail. Heroes need confidence.

_you believe in Atlantis?_

I totally do! I just wish people took it seriously and actually tried looking! Well, some people have already, but more people should look!

_you believe in Merpeople?_

Yes, I do. We call them _Sirena _and _Siyokoy_. Because Alfred is such a nerd/hero, he doesn't believe in anything that there's no solid proof of. He's a butt. Just kidding, Al! Hehehe, he's reading this, too. Anyway… yeah. I do believe in merpeople!

_you like video games?_

Oo! Being friends with Alfred and Kiku (there's another one I forgot! I'm not as close to him as I am to, say, Gilbert, but we're still close. After all, we are siblings! Or so Yao [another one I forgot!] says. But you know, that'd be incest, because we all know Yao and Kiku are doing the dirty!) means that I play a lot of video games! I don't really know the names of them, but I think Call of Duty is one. Not sure about the others.

_Russia ever seriously creeped you out?_

Yes, he has. I was eating a sandwich and I saw him watching me. Yeah, I know, right? I'm so interesting to watch because I'm eating a sandwich. But still. Later on, I found out that he was actually creeping on Raivis (like a little brother to me!), but that was still uncomfortable. Those violet eyes… God. Mattie and Roderich have violet eyes, but his are just creepy! Mostly because Mattie and Roderich don't stare at me, but still. But besides that time, I'm on pretty good terms with Ivan. Sometimes we hang out. You know, if he's seeking refuge at someone else's place to hide from Natalia. Seriously, that girl is a major creeper. I swear that Irunya is the only normal one in that family!

No, ARandomPerson15. Thank _you _for asking questions! Alrighty then! Paalam!

P.S. Russia's creeping on us right now. Alfred and I are now hiding in the girl's bathroom. Help us! Oh my God why does Ivan have to be such a creeper?!


	4. Chapter 4

Salamat a thousand times, ARandomPerson15! Now, let's boogie (and no, I'm not the only one who still uses that AWESOME phrase!)! Go Willy Wonka!

_Hi!  
__My typing thing is broken or something! Aaaagh! Anyway, I have a question about your past. What did you do when Spain came to colonize you? Did you fight him? Why don't you like the IggyMonster? What are your favorite cartoons? How do you feel about China? What's your favorite animal?  
__Thank you for your time,I really enjoy talking to you.  
__Sincerely,ARandomPerson15_

Awwwww! I enjoy talking to you, too! And you're really digging in deep this time with the questions about my past! Well, let's get to it!

_What did you do when Spain came to colonize you? Did you fight him?_

It's more like what I said when Spain came to colonize me. My oh-so-eloquent words were: "Hell to the no." I couldn't believe it was happening again. First it was the Majapahit Empire (though it didn't really affect the whole Philippines), and then it was some damn European country. I was going ape-shit in my mind. I knew ever since the moment Ferdinand Magellan came to the Philippines that Spain was going to try to colonize me, but I was still angry when I saw the actual personification. He tried being nice to me, but I didn't budge. My mind was set. I was not going to accept that he was taking over my land. I had known that the death of Magellan wasn't going to stop Spain from colonizing me, but you know, a girl could dream. Did you know I was actually there, fighting, alongside Lapu-Lapu during the Battle of Mactan? To this day, I remember Magellan's eyes watching me as I delivered the final blow: a stab in the heart with my spear. Not the first man I ever killed (because us nations have killed many over the years), but the most prominent. Lapu-Lapu was a good man, though, no matter what Spaniards would probably say. He stood up for his beliefs and didn't just give in to the Spanish like it didn't matter where he was from. He was one of the first Filipino heroes, and one of the first nationalists. To this day (wow, I use that phrase a lot), I am still not a Catholic. I have the cross tattooed on my arm, and the Om (symbol for Hinduism, which was one of the main religions of the Kingdom of Tondo, where I'm from) on my other arm.

Sorry, I got a bit sidetracked there! But I hoped that answered the first part of the question! As for if I fought back… Definitely. I took any chance I could to defy Spain, whether it was public or in private (talking one on one with him in the house he had that I refused to live in). The house that I lived in with my father from the time I was born had somehow managed to survive all those years that I was away, so I took up residence there, though unfortunately, it was only five minutes away from Spain's house. Romano was often there, and that's how I became close to him, but I never cared for Spain. All three hundred centuries that Spain had control of the Philippines, I lived in a separate house and I ran my farm, along with the help of some locals. Right now, in the present, I still live in that house, and I still have that farm. I've hired a few people to take care of it while I go to the United States or to World Meetings. But anyway, I joined in on any riot, any secret meetings, and finally, the Philippine Revolution came, and I was free from Spain. Sure, I was still under the control of the United States, but no more Spain. To be honest, had I had more of an open mind to being colonized (which would be impossible, but still), I probably wouldn't have disliked Spain (I never hated him, but I never liked him either), though when it came to us colonies of Spain, he wasn't exactly all cheery and a ray-of-sunshine. That was only to Lovi. With the rest of his colonies (which obviously includes me), he was much stricter, which was one of the reasons I disliked him. I still don't care for him that much, but I don't dislike him anymore.

Sorry, I have a tendency to get sidetracked a lot! Anyway, next question!

_Why don't you like the IggyMonster?_

I don't like the IggyMonster (hahahaha, good nickname, though he's definitely not scary!) for a few reasons. One is because of my "special ability" to hang on to the past. It's the British occupation of Manila. Like seriously, England thought he could just waltz in and take my city without a fight? He's a moron for thinking that. Thank God he only had control for two years, or I would've strangled myself. Spain was mad at England, and England didn't care, and if you can believe it, the only time I _ever _sided with Spain was during this time, in that we both wanted England OUT OF MY DAMN VITAL REGIONS! That sounds so disturbing… Fuck! Liz read the "vital regions" sentence and now she's gone ape-shit (again) over Gilbert taking Silesia from Roddy! And they tell me I hang on to the past! So does she! Wow, I'm so mature. Whatever. Gilbert and Liz will make up (NOT MAKE OUT, THAT'S FOR RODDY AND GILLY!) later on. It's a wonder Liz and Gil even get along when we all hang out together.

Anyway, the other reasons I don't like Iggy involve Alfred. Okay, technically, I don't like Iggybrows for only two reasons, but a bunch of reasons branch out from my second reason, so I dislike Iggypoo (yeah, even more nicknames, like a mature boss!) for a tree of reasons! It's because he's so oblivious and stupid and bitter and stuff, and he doesn't even realize that with each insult directed towards Alfred, the more Alfred's heartbroken, but no, that stupid moron (England, not Al!) doesn't get it! He's so thick that he doesn't even realize that Alfred loves him, and has loved him since the American Revolution! Al told me that he rebelled because he wanted Iggy to see him as an equal, as someone but a younger brother… As someone who is willing to be that damn Brit's lover! UGHHHHHH! I will punch somebody in the throat. Just kidding, but I think I'm going to pop a vein in my neck. Seriously. That's why I don't like the IggyMonster. I think someday, when he and Alfred are together (which _will _happen, especially if Liz and I have anything to do with it!), I'll tell him how I felt about him, but I think there's a potential for us to be friends. After all, he hangs on to the past, too, by hating on Alfred because of the Revolution. I guess we aren't so different. You know, except for the fact that I don't insult Switz- All right, all right, next question!

_What are your favorite cartoons?_

Definitely Teen Titans, Phineas and Ferb, and My Little Pony! No question about it. When it comes to Teen Titans, I totally ship Robin/Starfire, Kid Flash/Jinx, Beast Boy/Raven and Cyborg/Bumblebee! In Phineas and Ferb, I definitely ship Phineas/Isabella, Ferb/Vanessa and Jeremy/Candace, though I also love the characters Lawrence Fletcher, Major Monogram, Meap ("Meap!") and Carl ("It's Carl!"). Originally, I never liked My Little Pony, even though I had never watched it, but believe it or not, it was actually Gilbert who got me into MLP! He's a total brony, and after I reluctantly agreed to watch the whole first season with him, after just one episode, I was hooked! My favorite character is Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon, because we all love the misunderstood villain types!

_How do you feel about China?_

Yao's the man, yo! Hahahaha, that sounds weird, but I'm very close to him, and I consider him like an older brother. Just like siblings, though, we've had a few spats, including an ongoing one right now over Scarborough Shoal. But besides that, we're good! We were close during World War II, and I've actually known him since about 1530. I might've met him before then, but he probably didn't know that I was a personification, or I didn't know he was a personification (it's likely it was both).

_What's your favorite animal?_

That's a toughie. I'm caught between sharks (especially hammerheads, because they're so cute!), shrimp (because they taste good), squid (because I love calamari) and tarsiers. I'll say tarsiers are my favorite animals, but (hammerhead) sharks come in at a close second. I absolutely love going to Bohol to see the tarsiers (and to get a good view of the Chocolate Hills)!

Wow, I wrote a lot this time! Whatevs. It was worth it! So, ARandomPerson15, what's your favorite animal? For anyone else who wants to join in on the fun, please review with a few questions you want to be answered! For now, paalam!

P.S. "Teen Titans, go!" "There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation!" "My little pony, my little pony!"


	5. Chapter 5

Kumusta! Salamat again, ARandomPerson15! Anyway, I'll get started right now!

_Hiya!  
__I wonder if the IggyMan has feelings for Al… Lol! Gil's a brony? I never would have thought it! You should get him to dress up as his favorite pony and take pictures of it. Interesting history. I'll probably look up more on Wiki. Are you asking my favorite animal? Just in case,if so it's between cats(so cute!), sting rays (also cute!), and dolphins(just plain awesome)._

_Another round of questions with your host,ARandomPerson15! *generous applause*(lol,hyped up on sugar today)So, have you ever tried riding out to the ocean on a dolphin in search of Atlantis?(If not, you shouldn't try. It doesn't end well.) Have you ever been poisoned by a plant or animal? Have you ever joined a flash mob before? Ever tried riding a zoo animal before? What if Russia came up to you and asked for your hand in marriage? And finally,what if you were forced to marry Spain and if you didn't the world would explode? Lol. That last one was kinda strange but oh well.  
__Thanks for not yelling at my weird questions. I appreciate it.  
__Sincerely,ARandomPerson15._

First of all, the IggyMan (I'm lovin' these nicknames for that Brit!) does love Alfred, which is the only reason I don't hate him! So that's all good there! And I know, right? If I didn't know Gilbert as well as I do, I would've never guessed that he's a brony! And oh my God, you're like, psychic or something! This year (since last Halloween), we've been planning on all of us (Al, Gil, Mathias, Liz, Mattie, Vic, Eva, Irunya, Char and I) dressing as our favorite ponies! Alfred's going as Soarin', Gilbert's going as Rainbow Dash (and yes, that is manly, and awesome), Mathias as Pinkie Pie (also manly), Elizabeta as Applejack, Matthew as Fluttershy (yeah, almost all of the men are going as girl ponies/unicorns/pegasi, but are doing so because they are manly!), Victoria as Apple Bloom, Eva as Princess Cadance, Irunya as Priness Celestia, Charlotte as Cheerilee and me as Princess Luna! As you might be able to tell, we're trying to dress as the pony that we are most like! I don't think I'm completely like Princess Luna, but sometimes I am! Oh, and thanks! My history, I guess, is interesting, though I never really looked at it like that. I usually just looked at my (personal) history as being either nice, tragic or inspiring (somehow). Kind of. So yeah, I guess altogether, those words would translate into interesting. And yes, I was asking. OMG, I love stingrays, too! And dolphins! And I don't hate cats, but I have a few bad experiences with them, so therefore, I'm not too fond of cats. Now, I will answer questions!

_So, have you ever tried riding out to the ocean on a dolphin in search of Atlantis?_

I cannot say that I have. I've swum with dolphins before, and I've rode on dolphins in the ocean before, but not in search of Atlantis (mostly because the Philippines is in the Pacific Ocean, and not the Atlantic). And hahaha, don't worry, I won't try. ;D Maybe.

_Have you ever been poisoned by a plant or animal?_

This is a funny story. Kind of. One night, years ago, Alfred, Gilbert, Mathias, Liz and I were out camping in the forest, somewhere near the Adirondacks in New York, when we all got drunk, and started daring each other to do stupid things. Gilbert dared me to crab-walk across a patch (is that what a bunch of poison ivy grouped together would be called?) of poison ivy, and because I was drunk, I didn't refuse. Yeah. Not one of my shining moments. The next day, when we were all sober again, I started freaking out when I saw these blisters all over my arms and legs. Somehow, I got none on my face, which was good, but I was mad at Gilbert for the next five minutes until Alfred and Mathias found one of the diaries Gil brought to write in. We all (besides Gilbert, of course) couldn't believe that there was this one diary he kept that was full of observations and snapshots of Roderich. That was when we all discovered how much of a stalker he was (and still is). For Gilbert, because you're probably going to be reading this, I just want to say that it's obvious when you love someone if you have at least a hundred pictures of him at the piano. I should really visit Roderich sometime. Next time Elizabeta goes to see him (which is every month besides World Meetings), I'll go with her and tell him that I admire how well he handles Gilbert (because honestly Gilbert, I've known you since the 1600's, and you're still loveably insane!). And besides, Roderich's got such a pretty face! Gilbert would murder me right now if I didn't love Switz- Okay, time to move on to the next question! But yeah, that's basically the only time I ever got poisoned (by a plant), but I almost got bitten by a Philippine cobra while working in one of my rice paddies (I'm still a bit of a farmer at heart!)! Thank God that was an "almost"!

_Have you ever joined a flash mob before?_

I am extremely proud to say that I have participated in a flash mob before, though more specifically, a pillow fight flash mob! That's right! I was actually in Dublin along with the personification of Ireland (forgot to mention him, too!) when we heard about the Worldwide Pillow Fight Day on Facebook, and we decided that we totally had to join in! Over in New York City, Alfred, Gilbert and Mathias also participated. In Budapest, Elizabeta, Victoria and Irunya participated, and in Zurich, Eva and a reluctant Vash participated. Isn't it sweet how Vash is willing to do whatever it takes to make Eva happy, though she's already happy because she has the best brother in the world (well, second best, because Alfred's totally the best because he's the hero [there, are you happy, Alfred?])? I think it's totally sweet. But to answer simply, yes, I have joined a flash mob before, and I can't wait to do it again!

Ugh, Liz and Gil with their perverted minds. I really don't see how they don't get along better without Alfred, Mathias and I there to calm them down.

_Ever tried riding a zoo animal before?_

Heh. I'm totally not pretending that the last twenty four hours didn't happen! What makes you think that? Hmmm… You're psychic, ARandomPerson15!

The reason I didn't reply earlier was because Alfred, Gilbert, Mathias and I were sitting in a holding cell, while Elizabeta was bailing us out. The reason why we were arrested? Gilbert and Mathias broke into the little sanctuary for the polar bears at the zoo and were trying to ride on them. Alfred and I were totally innocent until the polar bear stood up to get Mathias off, and Mathias fell off and hit Alfred, and Alfred fell into the freezing cold pool where the polar bears could swim, so naturally I jumped in after him when I saw that there was a mean looking polar bear swimming. You can totally imagine how surprised the kids were when they saw two seemingly psychotic teenagers swimming beside a polar bear. Yeah. And then we were arrested. But at least Liz bailed us out! So yeah. It wasn't me who rode a zoo animal, but I jumped into the polar bears' pool, so I think that's pretty similar. I don't think bringing Gilbert and Mathias to a bar before going to the zoo was a good idea. I still love those morons anyway (but not in a romantic way!).

_What if Russia came up to you and asked for your hand in marriage?_

Well, I might just have a heart attack and die. That'd get me out of the marriage for sure! But if I didn't have a heart attack, I would probably faint. Or ask why he's proposing to me. And if it were to get away from Belarus, I'd kill him, because if we got married, I'd be a major target! I can't leave my Alfie behind! And I don't want to be an unrecognizable corpse because of Natalia's knife! But still. Ivan's a total creeper (not that I'm not either, hahahaha), but I can't be that much of a creeper to have to be married to him! I'd be asking what I did in a past life, though I probably didn't have one. So, basically, I'd be majorly disgusted, horrified and scared if Ivan came up to me and asked for my hand in marriage. Though it might make Vash jealous… Ah! You didn't read that! On to the next question!

_And finally,what if you were forced to marry Spain and if you didn't the world would explode?_

The question isn't strange, it's simply… vomit inducing, because the thought of marrying Spain makes me want to cry. And die. If I had a choice between marrying Spain and Russia, I totally pick Ivan! Like I said, I'm on good terms with him, though it probably just sounded like I hate him. He knows I think he's a total creeper. He's cool with it. And he would never ask for my hand in marriage, because two creepers can't marry. That's a rule in the Book of Creepiness (ja, that's capitalized! And ja, I just spoke German! Out of the nine languages I know, German is the fourth I learned, with English being the sixth!), which was written by Alfred, Ivan, Gilbert and Mathias, because they're creepers, and all creepers have to write books together. (Insert a "duh" here and we're good!) Even though they wrote that book, they rarely go by their rules. They only remember the rules when they want to get another in trouble, because they're all such good friends to each other (well, Al, Gil and Mathias are good friends, and Ivan's only included because he's a creeper all the time).

Anyway, because you didn't give me another option (you cruel person, hahahahaha, just kidding!), if the world would explode if I didn't marry Spain, then I would marry him, but I'd be one of those wives who turns a blind eye when it comes to affairs. Though there are rules for that. First rule: the affair can only be with Lovi, because I know Spain loves him. Second rule… Yeah, I don't have one. So, basically, it'd be an open marriage, except for the fact that I'd only allow Spain to have an affair with Lovi. That'd be the weirdest marriage ever.

Oh, and don't worry, ARandomPerson15! I don't yell at strange questions, because really, aren't all questions strange? Well, not really, but I'm one to embrace the strangeness, because I am strange, hahahahaha. And I appreciate you sending questions in! For now, paalam!

-Dalisay (Philippines)

P.S. All creepers must write random stuff at the end of other people's letters. Ponies! Rainbows! Rainbow Dash! Stars! Sharks! Frying pans! Frying pan-waving bitches! Roddy!

Awesomely,

Gilbert

P.S.S. Is Dalisay boring you with her lame-ass answers? Because-

UGH I'M SO SORRY! Gilbert got hold of this while I was outside helping Alfred with the steak we're currently grilling. I'm going to kill that damn Prussian! But thanks for the questions again! All right, now I'm going to kill him!


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm sorry for the delay! I just started high school two days ago, and I had no time to update! From now on, I won't be able to update until weekends, and that's if I even have time during weekends! I'll try to make time, and I'll try to update as much as possible, but don't expect more than one update a week! I'm sorry, but 'tis the life of a freshman! Back to the story!**

ARandomPerson15, you're totally psychic. There's like, no question about it, and oh my gosh, I just like totally sounded like Poland right there. Like, oh my gosh! Hahahahaha. I love Feliks, though, because I think he's hilarious. Oh by the way, salamat to all those who read my supposedly "lame-ass" answers (according to Gilbert, though I think he's just joking), and thanks to ARandomPerson15 for the questions! I really enjoy answering them! So anyway, let's get started!

_Heyoz!_

_LOL. I guess I am psychic. XD Also, I just came up with a song for you. "Switzy and Dalisay sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" LOL. I'm so immature. Oooooooooooooh! Somebody got in trouble with the cops! XD I wonder who._

_Got more weird questions. Lolz. What's new? Hmm…Oh! I've got some. When did you first realize you were a nation and how did you react? What would you do if I somehow turned up in your closet? ( Lol. What is wrong with me today? XD ) What would you do if a little kid came up to you and kicked you in the shins (sp?)? Let's say you and Switzy boy got married,would that make Liechtenstein (sp?) your sister-in-law or daughter? Ok,if Al went totally evil would you still be his friend? Let's say(I'm doing lots of these today,huh?)China comes and invades your land,do you think you could beat him? What are your feelings on WW2? Do you like eating chocolate cake? Are you a better baker than Iggy the Grouch?  
__Ok I think that's it. Phew. I am so very tired today. I wonder what would happen if the British dude saw this. XD Lolz, he'd probably murder me if he could. I'm untouchable. Lol. Ttyl! :)  
__Sincerely,ARandomPerson15_

Thanks for the song! And don't worry, I sing that all the time to Alfred, Gilbert and Mathias. And Liz. And pretty much everybody else. No one's been left out of my little singing fest! But hey, if we're immature, at least we're both immature! And yeah, I totally blame Gilbert and Mathias for us getting arrested. I was totally innocent until I jumped in that pool. I think I also made a little kid pee in his pants the moment he looked over, wanting to see a polar bear, but instead seeing some weird Filipina dragging a strange American up to the surface. And yay, more questions! And hey, they're not weird until… Yeah, that's all I got. I'm not good at finishing my own phrases, though that doesn't make sense, because I finish most of my phrases, but… Gah! Even I'm confused! I'm just gonna answer questions, because I have to finish those!

_When did you realize you were a nation and how did you react?_

When I still looked twelve years old when I should've been twenty, I knew that something wasn't right. I was a freak of nature. My father had already died, but not before wondering what sins he committed for me to turn out the way I did (by looking like a little kid even though I was an adult). I wish he could've lived long enough to know that I was (and still am) a nation, but that would've been impossible, because I didn't know I was a nation until Spain found me. Basically, for a hundred and twenty years or so, I wandered all around the Philippines, staying with tribes, traveling around, trying to die out in the middle of the ocean, fighting in the Battle of Mactan, trying to drown but not having the heart to kill myself. Yeah, I was pretty suicidal back then, but no words can ever explain how alone I felt. I had no idea what I was, and at the time, I was questioning who I was. Was I some sort of demon? I had no idea, until Spain found me. True, I didn't like him, and I still don't, but I am grateful to him for only a few things, with one of those things being that he told me what I was. I was a personification. The personification of the Philippines, which from then on was a colony of the Kingdom of Spain.

Well, when I think about it, I did have a bit of an idea of what I was. The Majapahit Empire had come to me once and said I was under his control, but after that, he left me alone. At the time, I thought he was crazy, but when Spain came to me, I realized that all that time, I had been a nation, and that Majapahit wasn't some crazy weirdo. I guess that in all the time that I spent with the tribes or stayed out in the ocean, I never really thought about that crazy person again. I was alone, but in reality, I wasn't. I just didn't remember, and therefore, I didn't look.

So with that in mind, when Spain told me I was a personification, I was relieved that I wasn't a demon, astounded that people like us were even possible, and nostalgic because of my fated encounter with Majapahit. Of course, right after that, he told me that he had come to colonize me, and that's when my amazing, famous quote was spoken ("Hell to the no."). Like I said before, I already knew he would come to colonize me since the Battle of Mactan, but at the time, I was thinking I was just some immortal Filipina, not a personification, so I wasn't thinking in a nation's point of view of the colonization.

The basic answer of this question is that I never realized that I was a nation on my own, and I was relieved, astounded, a bit nostalgic, and then angry when I realized that Spain may have given me closure on my issues with my identity, but I would be under his control, and little did I know that I wouldn't be free from him for three hundred years.

_What would you do if I somehow turned up in your closet?_

Well, I'd be really creeped out. I probably wouldn't know that it was you, but after you'd tell me that you are ARandomPerson15, we could totally prank Alfred into thinking that you're a ghost in my closet! I love scaring Alfred! No offense to him!

_What would you do if a little kid came up to you and kicked you in the shins (sp?)?_

Before I answer this question, I don't know what "sp" means, so if I don't answer your question entirely, I'm really sorry! But anyway, if a little kid came up to me and kicked me in the shins, I'd probably kick him/her in the shins, too. See, this is why I shouldn't be trusted with kids! Then again, I go to World Meetings, so technically, I'm always surrounded by kids, hahahahahahaha!

_Let's say you and Switzy boy got married,would that make Liechtenstein (sp?) your sister-in-law or daughter?_

Well, because I already consider Liechy (Alfred and I's nickname for her!) like a little sister, I wouldn't just suddenly think of her as a daughter, so if Switzy (I don't see why Vash hates that nickname. It's so cute!) and I got married, that would make her my sister-in-law! The only issue I'd have if we got married is that I wouldn't just up and leave my house in the Philippines without some arguing, so either I'd travel a lot, or Eva and Vash would. But we'll figure that out when the day comes!

And I just found out from Liz what "sp" means! I'm so proud! And don't worry, you spelled Liechy's name right!

_Ok,if Al went totally evil would you still be his friend?_

I could go on and on with an answer for this, but as a short answer, it's a yes. Mostly because if he went evil, I'd probably be evil with him. No, not really, but I'd make him come to his senses. Or better yet, I'd make sure he doesn't start thinking any evil thoughts.

_Let's say(I'm doing lots of these today,huh?)China comes and invades your land,do you think you could beat him?_

Well, if I had to base my odds and his on our populations, which affects the sizes of our military, then from there, yeah, it looks like he would win. If it were a one-on-one fight with him, then hell to the yes, I would so win. But when it comes to our militaries (unless I get Alfred on my side, but he kind of needs Yao and China's money), I don't think I would win. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't fight. I'd rather die before losing my land to Yao (still love him, but if he even thinks about moving in on my territory, I'll bitch-slap him to Mars.)

_What are your feelings on WW2?_

I feel a lot of things at the same time when I think about World War II. And I'd give you an extremely long answer to answer your question, but because I'm on a bit of a time limit, I won't. Also, the question is a bit vague to me. If you asked me how I felt about a specific time or event during the war (like the Holocaust, or D-Day, though I wasn't there, or the Bataan Death March), I'd gladly answer! So I shall wait for a more specific question!

_Do you like eating chocolate cake?_

I'll answer with another question, because I'm just that amazing! Do I love Alfred as a brother? So the answer is yes! Infinitely yes!

_Are you a better baker than Iggy the Grouch?_

Hahahahaha, I should call him that! I'll put him under that name in my contacts, even though he never gave me his phone number because I'm some sort of "bloody Filipino hobo"! Like he's one to talk, hahahahahahaha! But yes, I'm a better baker than Iggybrows. But then again, even a newborn baby can be a better baker than him. Honestly, how can someone be so bad at cooking/baking? That's the kind of stuff scientists should research. They'd be Iggiologists!

Salamat for the questions, ARandomPerson15! And now, time to answer one more question from Guest! Salamat, both of you!

_Do you and Switzerland have anything to do tonight? Like, I don't know like maybe *cough-do some things on the mattress-cough*. _

I'm so not blushing. So not. But no, we don't have any plans. At least not yet. ;D


	7. Chapter 7

Oh my God. Jesus H. Christ on a motorcycle. I am so sorry for the delay! But honestly, the last two weeks have been the best of my life! But you know what they say (kind of, not really): What happens in Sweden, stays in Sweden. More specifically, Stockholm. Oh yeah. I planned the vacation (as in booking airplane tickets for Al and I), while Mathias planned the actual activities. Biggest mistake (yet best mistake) of our lives. That Dane gets wild when he's in the country of his former enemy (referring to the many Dano-Swedish wars. Like seriously, there were eleven. I doubt they even had a good reason to actually go into a war most of the time, they just got along THAT WELL. Too bad I'm being sarcastic!). But anyway, because I'm sure you're not happy about such a long wait, ARandomPerson15, I won't make you wait any longer! Onto the questions! Well, after I let everyone else read your questions below!

_Hi!  
__Lol. Maybe I should go to some kind of therapist or something and get tested for psychic-ness. XD Anyhoo,I have more questions(cause I'm just awesome like that)for you._

_Have you ever gone on an angry rampage,like tipping stuff over,physically harming others,etc.?  
__When did you first meet the Swiztinator?  
__Have you ever tried shaving Igg's eyebrows off?  
__More specific with WW2,when Japan was going around taking Pacific Islands. Were you afraid of him?  
__Have you ever wished you weren't a nation?  
__How do you feel about 2012?  
__Ok,I think that's it. And so true on the immature thing! Yay for immaturity!  
__Sincerely,ARandomPerson15_

OMG, now that you mention therapist, I just remembered something from I'd Cap That. So, one day, about two months ago, because I'm awesome like Gilbert, I took a screenshot of Robert Downey, Jr. because he's Iron Man/Tony fucking Stark, which means he's hot. Yeah. Then, I put the picture on I'd Cap That, and the caption was "I take the 'the' out of psychotherapist." Hahahahahaha, psycho rapist. That made me almost pee in my pants (though technically not pants, because I was wearing a skirt). And it was at a World Meeting. But hey, it's not like we do important stuff there! So I'm totally free to use I'd Cap That, and take secret pictures of Iggybrows to show to Alfred and make fun of in secret when Alfred's not there to say, "Awwww, Iggy's so cute, Iggy's so hot, I want England to fuck me senseless!" Well, he doesn't say the last one, but I know he's thinking it. Especially with the way he stares at Iggypoo during meetings. He may be innocent, but he ain't innocent in the mind!

And I know, right? Being immature is way more awesome than being mature. That's why Gilbert's awesome! And all righty now, onto las preguntas!

Shit! I just spoke fucking Spanish! I hate my life! Hahahaha, just kidding. Onto the questions!

_Have you ever gone on an angry rampage,like tipping stuff over,physically harming others,etc.?_

I've definitely been on an angry rampage before. Just ask Alfred, Gilbert, Mathias, Liz, Matthew, or really, any of the girls. Even little Liechy. I remember one time, when I was still a colony of Spain's, probably sometime around the 1860's, about thirty years before I met Alfred, I was angry at Spain (not that that's anything special), and I threw everything I could get my hands on. I even resorted to smashing a shovel against a crumbling wall. I didn't stop abusing the wall with the shovel until the wall fell over. I still feel bad for that wall. And the poor shovel.

_When did you first meet the Swiztinator?_

I'm not exactly sure. I'm leaning towards the 1920's, because I know it was before the 1930's, and definitely after the 1910's. Or World War I. It's weird that I don't remember, because I'm usually very good with dates. Well, whatevs. I'd say it was probably within the year I met Mathias, which was 1925. Oh, and that's such a cute nickname for him! I'm changing his name in my contacts now!

Oh, and as for how I met him, it was through Liechtenstein. I've known her for a long time, though I hadn't physically met her until the 1800's. I remember Alfred inviting her over for a week in the summer of 1925 (yeah, I'll just go with that!), and I met him for the first time. Of course, I had already known about him, because I was grateful that he had taken Eva in, but I remember literally jumping onto him, hugging him. I still do that. I think, for me at least, it was love at first sight. We're still not dating, but I think we're close! OMG, I sound like such a girl. Well (hahahaha), technically I am, but I consider myself one of the guys, even though I wear skirts and I hang out with Elizabeta, Victoria, Eva, Irunya and Charlotte. But whatever. If Vash doesn't ask me out within the month, I'm asking him out. Blah tradition, in which the guy asks the girl. Though, hahahahaha, even when Roderich and Elizabeta were together, I'm pretty sure Liz had been the man of that relationship, because Roderich couldn't even top a flower. He'll be pretty easy for Gilbert to dominate. Which Liz and I will be watching, because Roderich's house has been bugged several times over the years. All the good stuff happens in his house! I remember once when Gilbert was climbing up to the second story window using a trellis of roses. You can probably guess what happened that time. But now, he's an expert!

_Have you ever tried shaving Igg's eyebrows off?_

I can honestly say that I haven't. But now I should try! Only I think it'd take a weedwacker to shave those things off. Or a scythe. Or laser hair removal. Oh, the possibilities are endless! Just like the jokes and insults! I better not let Alfred read this! But even he has to admit that those eyebrows are like living creatures on his face! I swear, I thought I once saw one of them moving!

_More specific with WW2,when Japan was going around taking Pacific Islands. Were you afraid of him?_

I was afraid for the Filipinos, but I was never afraid of him. Like, I was afraid of the nation of Japan taking over the Philippines, but I was never afraid of the man, Honda Kiku. And even if he had done more damage in the Philippines, I still wouldn't be afraid of him. To me, there's no point. I'd be angry. And even though I'm fine with him these days, I still have not forgiven him. I don't think anyone can. Not even Alfred, or Yao, who Kiku's dating! What he's done is unforgivable, but we all respect him enough to not hold it against him. But no, I was never afraid.

_Have you ever wished you weren't a nation?_

No. Of course, back before I met Spain, I wanted to die, and I didn't want to be immortal, but because I never knew I was a nation, I don't think it counts. But even after Spain told me, I never wanted to stop being a nation. My wish was that I'd be free from Spain, because I knew I couldn't just not be a nation.

_How do you feel about 2012?_

I feel pretty good about the year so far, but if it's the Nostradamus 2012 thing you're referring to, I'm afraid it'll happen. However, if it does, at least I'd have known that I've lived a good life! And it's not that I'd be afraid for myself, it's that I'd be afraid for those who never got to live a full life, like the children. That's the worst thing. But if you're referring to 2012 in general, then yeah, it's been a good year so far! Especially with the movies that came out this year, like the Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises! But I miss the Joker!

Thank you for the questions, ARandomPerson15! And this time, I'll try to get back to you on the weekend that's not a week after the one I was supposed to reply on! Salamat, and paalam!


End file.
